Maternal Mental Health
For the month of June, we will dive into maternal mental health, focusing on the perinatal period and beyond. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and my dear friend and business partner is about to throw her little girl her first birthday party. We are mothers and business owners and we care deeply about mental health and wellness. I had the privilege of being part of a perinatal learning collaborative through work and learned a ton about maternal mental health. During my time on the committee I became passionate about a mother’s journey throughout pregnancy and motherhood. I learned there is so much that happens behind the scenes that women don’t feel safe or comfortable sharing out of fear of being judged. One thing we can start doing immediately to help mothers is allow them to share their experience and support them by listening without judgement and/or giving advice.
“I learned there is so much that happens behind the scenes that women don’t feel safe or comfortable sharing out of fear of being judged.”
There is not one emotion that is not experienced throughout the journey of becoming a mother. The strongest emotion I have felt by far is fear. Fear that I couldn’t get pregnant. Fear that once I did get pregnant, I would have a miscarriage. Fear about whether or not to vaccinate my baby. Fear about labor and delivery. Fear about SIDS and keeping her alive. I could go on and on because the fear is non-stop! I am constantly having to check in with myself, come back to the present moment and trust in the process, my body and my intuition. I am an experiential learner and for the first time in a long time, I have no experience to go off of and that feels scary. The unknown has been the one true constant throughout my pregnancy and for someone who does well with the illusion of having control, I have been struggling with the reality of not having any. My hormones are all over the place and my body changing has been something extremely difficult to accept. I am working more than full time and it’s expected to just go about life like nothing is different or changing, when it is rapidly.
“I am an experiential learner and for the first time in a long time, I have no experience to go off of and that feels scary. “
I share all of this with you because these are the parts of pregnancy that women do not feel safe to share. Of course I feel lucky and grateful to be pregnant with a healthy baby coming soon AND at the same time, I feel scared, unprepared and anxious about how my life is about to change forever. I have feelings of self-doubt and shame. I worry that I will not be a good mother or that my relationship with my husband will begin to suffer. I am nervous that I haven’t completely healed myself from my past and somehow that energy will seep into my daughter. These are the thoughts in my head, and I feel crazy sharing them with people because our society says motherhood is a gift and I should be happy. It is a gift AND I am scared shitless. It’s a both/and situation and that should be okay!
“ In order to raise the next generation in a healthy way, we need to take care of our mothers.”
Unfortunately, it’s easy to see how during pregnancy or postpartum, approximately 1 out of every 7 women experiences significant depression, anxiety, intrusive repetitive thoughts, panic, or post-traumatic stress when communicating about how we are feeling inside is taboo. It is time to make maternal mental health a priority. Women should not feel isolated throughout their motherhood journey. In order to raise the next generation in a healthy way, we need to take care of our mothers. Having a loving, nurturing community is something that every mother should strive to have because it really does take a village to raise a child. Stay tuned as we continue to explore this important topic throughout the month.