Courage vs. Pride
The courage to face ourselves
In therapy we talk a lot about courage. The courage to face ourselves. The courage to be vulnerable in front of someone. The courage to see that we are lovable. Courage…But a lot of my clients get confused between what is courageous and what is prideful. Courage and pride are similar. They orbit each other, but there are some distinguishing factors that separate each other.
Courage originates in the heart. It re-orients us to life. Courage brings us out of our head and into our bodies, Those who are courageous are willing to look to the future. Acting courageously gives meaning to one’s life. Courage reminds us of what we can be; it unveils our deep, inner strength.
There exists a quieter courage too. These acts can range from the willingness to admit that you struggle with a mental health disorder to the motivation to check for spooks in a dark room. And in these private and courageous moments, one still senses courage’s brightly burning fire. No one may know that you made the courageous choice, however, the external world can sense that something changed—a transformation took place. You are brighter, bolder, and sturdier than before—similar to a soldier or an Olympian.
“Courage reminds us of what we can be; it unveils our deep, inner strength. ”
One does not need pride in order to act courageously. In fact, pride often gets in the way of courage. A friend once told me, “[courage is] all those moments that I have made a fool out of myself in the name of something I deemed more important than my own personal pride.” Pride can stand in the way of you making a choice that causes you to look past your own self-importance and act courageously. Therefore, it is even more evident that it is someone’s will—not pride—that moves them to be courageous. We, in fact, usually have to ignore our Id—our pride—to be courageous.
Pride is driven by shame. We don’t want to be mocked, so we do something out of our comfort zone. We do it because of ego. There is no deeper purpose, other than to avoid embarrassment. Pride is loud, bright, angry. It is usually masking something in us that feels scared or less than.
Is there a way to transform pride into courage?
YES! It’s starts with awareness, introspection, and compassion.
Bring your awareness to your intention behind your actions. What is motivating you? And take a minute to think about this. It’s easy to convince ourselves we are doing something for different (better) reasons. No one’s listening…be honest with yourself.
Bring that awareness in. Where does this motivation live in you? When you act, what parts of your body light up? This may take some practice. By integrating daily practices of mindfulness, you can deepen your connection with your body and feelings versus focusing on pragmatic thoughts.
Bring in compassion. This awareness journey can be HARD. Feelings of shame and hurt are normal. Breathe. You are human. Start your journey of loving yourself through these moments.
All of these “tips” are even more beneficial with the aid of a therapist. I probably don’t have to convince you of this (as you’re reading a therapy blog), but it’s important to remind ourselves that we don’t have to act courageously by ourselves. Guides, support, and tools are only going to help.
Share a courageous moment with us in the comments section! Let’s inspire one another!