Navigating COVID-19 While Taking Care of Yourself
The Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) has turned our world upside down. Hearing words like quarantine, isolation and pandemic on a regular basis can be anxiety inducing. As we shelter in place it’s hard not to get overwhelmed by the non-stop information coming from the news and social media. Not to mention, worries about health, finances and the future. In this blog, we will explore some tools you can incorporate at home to stay grounded as you navigate your new normal. Whether you are working from home and trying to take care of your kids at the same time or you’re single and feeling lonely, this blog is for you.
Structure Routine Rituals
While I try to hold my life together, I’ve noticed structure, routine and rituals throughout my day help me feel grounded. Not only does my daughter thrive with these things in place, I’ve noticed that my husband and I feel more calm too. So what’s the difference between structure, routine and rituals? Let me break them down for you. Structure is the foundation of your day. It’s the layout. It’s a plan for what you’re going to do from when you wake up to when you go to bed. Your routine is the sequence of events throughout the day. Your routine fills in the structure. Your meals, workouts and work day are part of your routine. Rituals are little sacred practices you can sprinkle in your day. These can include journaling, meditating, drinking tea/coffee and practicing gratitude.
Photo by Joshua Ness @theexplorerdad via Unsplash
Here’s an example of a structured day (sans children):
7:00am Wake up
7:05am Mindfulness + Deep breathing (ritual)
7:15am Have coffee (ritual)
7:45am Breakfast (routine)
8:00am Start work day (routine)
10:00am Go for a walk (routine)
12:00pm Workout (routine)
12:45pm Lunch (routine)
1:00pm Back to work (routine)
3:00pm Go for a walk/run (routine)
4:30pm Wrap-up work day (routine)
6:00pm Make dinner (routine)
7:00pm Tea and read (ritual)
8:30pm Journal/creativity (ritual)
9:00pm Meditation + yoga (ritual)
10:00pm Go to bed
This example would need to be altered if you have kids or for days with no work. Spend time before your week starts and create a plan. Then every night before bed or in the morning, you can review your day. If you have kids, have them help come up with routines and rituals they enjoy and then stick to them. Perhaps this is a great time to start teaching your kids about boundaries as well. This will help them understand what’a okay and what’s not okay, including what your needs are as parents. For example, nap time is non-negotiable because it’s important for kids to get rest and for you to take care of yourself during this time.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema @kellysikkema via Unsplash
Relationship Tools
Once you’ve established a regular routine for your new normal, it’s crucial to communicate what your needs are during this time, as well as what emotions you are noticing. Whether you’re in a relationship, married and/or have kids, being home and not being able to leave will start to feel stressful. This is especially true if you went from having childcare, to having no childcare. Below are some helpful tips to use while you stay at home with your family:
Communicate your needs:
There is no getting passed this one. This is a great time to start communicating vulnerably, honestly and opening with your partner. We have to if we want to stay connected and avoid resentment. Practice communicating when you are both calm. If you are angry or upset, take time apart and re-visit the conversation.
Convey what your needs are right now:
Your life has been turned upside down. You’re both stressed and overwhelmed. How can you support each other right now? How can you stay on each other’s team. Take time to sit down with each other and communicate what you both need. This is important!
Take time to separate:
Schedule time apart throughout the day. Whether this looks like spending time in opposite ends of the house or getting outside for a solo walk, include some alone time in your day. If you have kids, take turns being a solo parent for 30 minutes to an hour so each of you get a break. Do this a few times throughout the day.
Let go of expectations and assumptions:
Having expectations of each other right now is unfair, especially if they haven’t been communicated. Expectations that are not shared create resentment. Resentment leads to arguing and feeling unattracted to each other. Don’t assume. Communicate everything. Turn expectations into appreciation.
Sweat:
Move your body! Workout, dance, walk, jump up and down. Break a sweat every day to move the stagnant energy from being home every day.
Reconnect:
Maybe this is a good time to get to know each other better. How is the intimacy in your relationship? Intimacy = In-To-Me-See. Share your fears with your partner right now. What are you worried about? Tell them instead of bottling it up and pushing it down. Have a good cry. Hold each other. Offer massages or other acts of service like making meals or cleaning up. Tend to each other’s needs and desires. Be vulnerable. That is the recipe for true connection.
SINGLE DURING THE TIME OF COVID-19
A big part of being single includes our need to connect with our friends and family socially. Unfortunately, in person connection is not an option right now. While we practice social distancing, feelings of isolation and loneliness are normal. But that doesn’t mean it feels good. Here are some tools that will help as you shelter in place solo:
Balance:
Try creating healthy balance throughout your day. For example, if you’re on your computer during the day and watch tv at night, allow space for no screen time so you can reset your mind and body. An example of balance here would be committing to only reading/watching the news once a day for 30 minutes maximum and not too close to bed time.
Connect and check-in:
Schedule time to chat with friends and family. Whether on the phone or FaceTime, try to connect with someone you care about every other day.
Get outside:
Spending time in nature is always healing and energizing. Make it a point to get outside every day.
Notice your feelings:
It’s okay to feel all the feelings right now. This is a time to be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your feelings instead of ignoring them. Try journaling daily to express how you feel and what you notice in your body.
Mental health:
Most therapists are offering virtual sessions during this time. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and/or depressed it’s okay to seek guidance and support. Psychology Today is a great tool for finding a therapist that’s a good fit. Also, check out our blogs on finding a therapist here.
Physical Health:
Move your body daily. Turn on some music and dance, go for a walk or run, do jumping jacks and push ups. Just move.
Take good care of yourself:
Get plenty of sleep. Drink lots of water. Eat nourishing foods. Practice mindfulness. Take extra good care of yourself. Speak to yourself kindly.
Become your own best friend:
This is a great time to really get to know yourself. When we are busy and social, it’s easy to avoid ourselves. Take time to be mindful and still. Get out your journal and answer the following questions: What are my desires? What are my fears? What goals do I have? Where do I see myself in 1, 3 and 5 years from now? What are my needs and my dealbreakers in a relationship?
Get creative:
Learn something new. Make art. Play music. Write. Build. Garden. Cook. Dance. Sew. Sing. Have fun with yourself!
Photo by Drew Coffman @drewcoffman via Unsplash
Recap and Resources
Navigating how we feel during COVID-19 is new for all of us. We are all in this together. It is normal to be struggling with difficult emotions during this time of uncertainty. Something that has helped me is finding balance through it all. Setting healthy boundaries with myself in regard to how much I am on social media and how much screen time I have in general. Connecting with others on the phone and FaceTime, as well as, spending time alone meditating and noticing how I am feeling in my mind and body. This pandemic is surfacing all my fears and insecurities. I feel raw and scared and that’s okay. It’s okay to feel what I am feeling right now. It’s okay for you to feel what you are feeling right now too. It’s also okay to ask for help. Most therapists are offering virtual sessions, or tele-therapy. Below is a QR code to a list of resources that we recommend. We are here to support you during this time. Take good care of yourself!
