Resilience and Resiliency

We talk a lot about resiliency in therapy.  But it’s important to understand what we mean when we talk about resiliency. As clients we want to develop, strengthen, and depend on our resilience. 

As clinicians we want to support and unveil signs of resilience.

Definitions:

Let’s take a look at some ways of explaining resilience. There are a lot of varying definitions of resilience. Google’s dictionary describes it as, “The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” Wikipedia gets specific and describes Psychological Resilience as: “the ability to cope with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly.” Resilience exists when the person uses mental processes and behaviors in promoting personal assets and protecting self from the potential negative effects of stressors.

There is a general understanding that children are very resilient as long as they are instilled with the appropriate abilities and progressions as they develop: positive attachment, social support, self-motivation, and the ability to internally moderate emotions. As a mother, I stare at that and immediately feel worry and panic.  Am I giving my daughter all she needs to be resilient?  Is there something I could be doing better? I want to ensure she is safe but I also want to stop myself from being a helicopter parent—because stressful situations also have the capability of enhancing resilience, as long as it is manageable and not overwhelming.

Seems simple enough? Not so much….There is even a discrepancy in the mental health community about where resilience comes from.  How do personal, biological, and environmental factors all impact an individual’s resilience? I’ll let you take a look and decide for yourselves.

Some argue that individuals who have a personality that is more outgoing, affable, and approachable show positive resiliency. As individuals with more outgoing and friendly personality types also experience healthy self-esteem.  They feel confident, and therefore, are self-deterministic.  For such individuals, the external world is not exceptionally frightening.

More research is being done on how biology impacts resiliency.  It is currently understood that if a child is exposed to harsh environment at an early age, then it can negatively impact the child’s neurobiology, making him/her less resilient and more susceptible to mental illness.

Previously, many researchers believed that an important aspect of resilience was an internal locus of control (ability to take responsibility for her life).

Additionally, it is considered that relationships and environmental experiences are more empowering features for resiliency.  Research suggests that children who experience microenvironmental social support from their family and friends growing up, are more resilient than those who don’t. Positive relationships allow children to experience opportunities that stimulate specified neural pathways in the brain, making them more resilient. Also, a child with positive relational health has most likely been granted the opportunity to experience self-exploration.  And an individual is more resilient when she feels she has the ability act in a self-directed way.

So what do we do with this information?

If you have children, there are specific things you can do to support resiliency.  Support without hovering. If your child undergoes a painful experience, love, empathize, validate.  When a child feels empowered in their experience, they are more likely to be able to bounce back from small or large losses/traumas as they get older.

If you are someone who experienced a lot of trauma/loss as a child, you are not a lost cause. You still have the capacity to grow resilience. Working with a therapist to mend past traumas, promote integration of self and past, and developing a stronger sense of self can be the building blocks to a healing and resilient life.

If you were fortunate to grow up in a supportive family with minor traumas/losses, you can strengthen/nurture your resiliency by building your support network, processing problems/issues/losses as they arise, fine-tuning your coping strategies, and managing your stress.

What are the take-aways? Resilience is the capacity to bounce back after undergoing a stressful or traumatic experience. It is slightly mysterious but there are ways to cultivate and nurture it in ourselves and our children. Be proud of a resilient moment, year, life. It is incredible the capacity we have to heal, grow, and move forward in living a healthy and happy life. Believe in yourself. You are resilient.